I Worked Hard. And...
The Success Playbook will get you there. And ... is there where you really want to be?
I spent many years operating from the Success Playbook ~ a handy owners manual for humans who want to win at the game of life.
The Playbook was clear and definitive: “Hard work is the key to success.” It even provided a pro tip: “The harder you work, the faster you will get ahead.”
I was a quick learner, a rule follower and highly motivated to achieve happiness and financial security ~ the stuff of my dreams that existed in the lofty realm called Success. I diligently studied the Playbook and did all the things one must do to reach that place.
And my experiences continued to show me that the Playbook was right. The harder I worked, the more I was recognized for my hard work and presented with more opportunities to work hard:
I worked hard and got good grades.
I worked hard and passed the bar exam on my first try.
I worked hard and was hired by the law firm where I clerked in law school.
I worked hard and was quickly given my own caseload, including writing an appellate brief and arguing it before the California Supreme Court.
I worked hard and was hired by my largest client as their first in-house lawyer.
I worked hard and was promoted within six months to Vice President & General Counsel, before my 30th birthday.
I worked hard and led significant corporate-wide projects.
I worked hard and received a lucrative salary and benefits, bought a BMW and built a custom-home in a gated golf-course community before my first child was born.
I worked hard and enrolled my two children in the best day-care centers.
I worked hard and built two award-winning stationery boutiques from scratch.
I worked hard and became known as a leader in my industry, winning awards and serving as a speaker, panelist and workshop facilitator.
I worked hard and launched two new start-ups, on top of the three corporations I already owned and managed.
I worked hard and coached business owners around the world, hitting six figures in the first year of launching my online coaching programs and retreats.
The formula was simple, and I’d been following it from a very young age.
Work hard. Achieve. Repeat.
Despite a long list of achievements, Success always seemed to be just outside my reach. Almost, but never quite there. Because there was always a next “there” to get to ~ another rung on the ladder, a higher mountain to climb.
As soon as I would begin to get comfortable, alarm bells and whistles would go off ~ signaling that it was time to look for the next challenge, pile on the next project, start the next business. So I could work hard, so I could be successful.
And the ever-present voice of the inner critic was relentless:
“There’s more you could be doing. Don’t listen to those people who are saying how successful you are. You know you’re not. You just have them all fooled. You are clearly not working hard enough ~ and you are most definitely not a success. Because, if you were, you would feel happy and financially secure. And, look at you ~ you’re constantly stressed out, miserable and worried that you won’t be able to make ends meet. Now get back to work!”
And I did.
I worked hard and vowed that being pregnant with my son would not slow me down or make me less capable than the men on the executive team.
I worked hard and cut my maternity leave short after my daughter was born two months early, because I heard that another executive was gunning for my coveted office next to the CEO {and because my daughter was sleeping all the time and I didn’t know what to do with myself}.
I worked hard and missed lazy afternoons lying in the grass, giggling and spotting cloud animals in the sky with my young children.
I worked hard and, while on a family ski vacation, opted to stay in the cabin to focus on the E-Myth Mastery program for entrepreneurs … so I could learn how to make more money without working harder … so I could spend more quality time with my family.
I worked hard and had no idea why, after 20 years of marriage, it wasn’t enough ~ why I couldn’t just be happy with a wonderful man who I loved, and who loved and supported me in all that I set out to do.
I worked hard and, when my mother was diagnosed with terminal ovarian cancer, I dove headlong into finding a way to cure her rather than asking what she most needed from me.
I worked hard and had neither the time nor patience to listen to all the stories of my mother’s relatives, heirlooms and childhood experiences she was yearning to share with me.
I worked hard and didn’t spend time sitting in bed with my mom, holding her hand or reading to her when she was feeling nauseous, weak and in pain as the cancer claimed her body, then her mind, then her life.
I worked hard and didn’t know how to stop, how to relax, how to play without a goal.
I worked hard and didn’t know how to ask for what I needed … or to admit {even to myself} that I needed anything from anyone else.
I worked hard and had frequent back pain and was on the verge of adrenal burnout.
I worked hard and didn’t know who I was beyond the Playbook, the titles, the achievements, the accolades, and the incessant Hard Work.
I worked hard and the walls of the “successful” life I had been working so hard to build started crumbling around me.
I worked hard and found myself at a place I’d never really been before ~ utterly powerless to fix or control any of it….
You see, the Playbook is brilliant in its design.
When most of the “civilized world” is operating from the same directive and you see people all around you who seem to be successful, you don’t question the almighty Playbook.
You question yourself.